Monday, July 10, 2006

The Peace of Wild Things.

When despair for the world grows in me

And I awake in the night at the least sound

In fear of what my life and my children’s life may be,

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.

I come into the peace of wild things

who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief.

I come into the presence of still water.

And I feel above me the day- blind stars

waiting with their light. For a time

I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

-Wendell Berry

"Water that flows down the mountain does not think that it flows down the mountain.

The cloud that leaves the valley does not think that it leaves the valley.”

-Tran Thai Tong, Viet Namese Zen Master

There is little suffering when one awakens to the moment, living without forethought of grief. When I asked Dr Doty if this treatment would save my life he said, “I can't give you a blank check. Life is a gift.”

My oncologist is also my Zen master.


Blogger Pat said...

Missing you... I'll find something resembling a church on friday and do something that resembles prayer.

8:00 PM  
Blogger Finca Project said...

Today at 9:30 Costa Rican time
When you were in the doctor’s office
Waiting to receive you chemo
I planted a tree for you.
I don’t know what kind of tree it is.
It is from the Guanacaste.
It is funny looking.
Its trunk is thinner at the bottom
Than it is at the top.
But despite this counterintuitiveness
It is a strong tree.

I told you I would be in an orange tree
Meditating for you
At 9:30
But I know that doctors are always late
So I waited until 9:41.
And the orange tree wasn’t as comfortable
As I thought it would be.
So I walked past the orange orchard
To the cattle pasture above my farm
And sat under a poro tree
And meditated with the cows
Overlooking the emerald valley
That pours over the mountains
Falling to the sea below

This is where I was
When you received your chemo.
I figured you would be closing your eyes.
I wanted to take you out of the doctors office
And up to a mountain top
Like the time I dragged you up
To Lake of the Angels.
I tried to summon up all of my strength
And the strength of the land around me
To send you my love
I remembered how hard it was for you
To make it to Lake of the Angels

When I was walking back down to the house
I had to machete my way through
Invasive vines and weeds
That were choking the orange trees
And obscuring the trail.
I passed the tree I planted for you
And imagined it in 50 years
A giant

11:35 AM  

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